Parshat Eikev "Circumcise your heart?!"

This week's Parsha is Eikev. I want to dedicate this post to my Dad for his Birthday!

The Israelites are still sitting by the Jordan river waiting to get into the Land of Israel. The build up is killing me! In a way these chapters leading up to the entry are helping me really feel the waiting and suspense they must have felt.

Last week I spoke about seeing into your heart. The Israelites were told not to forget anything they had seen that was in their heart.
This week I want to stay with the idea of the heart. I think the fact that these chapters have such meaningful messages about the Israelites paying attention to their hearts is important. They have done the physical labor of getting to this point. But before they can become a nation that is not only about the physical they have to learn how to be in touch with their emotional and spiritual side, a less seen side. This is a skill that many people walk around life not knowing how to access.

The Israelites are given a strange sounding command in this parsha. They are told that before entering the land they have to "circumcise the forskin of their hearts". This is a famous line from the parsha. What does it mean? Clearly we are not talking about actually cutting something off our hearts!

10:16. You shall circumcise the foreskin of your heart, therefore, and be no more stiff-necked.
טז. וּמַלְתֶּם אֵת עָרְלַת לְבַבְכֶם וְעָרְפְּכֶם לֹא תַקְשׁוּ עוֹד:

A circumcision is the sign of a covenant between man and G-d. G-d creates us and then we have to take a physical step to answer G-d and say "yes! I do want to be partners with you and follow your commandments in return for your love and care". We have to make that decision for our children. This typical circumcision is done on a baby boy.
So how can we connect this circumcision to the metaphorical one in our chapter? 
I think that G-d is telling us that we have to make the conscious decision to be a part of his covenant. The people were brought out of slavery, taken care of in the desert and now are being prepared to be more independent. Before taking on the responsibility of entering into the land and really owning something they need to remind themselves that all that they love and care for and all that they will enjoy is because of this partnership with G-d. They are having a circumcision ceremony of the heart because they need to understand that even when something is not a clear physical sign, like the circumcision of a penis, it is real and it counts. The Israelites are shifting now from being a people that see's G-ds clear miracles daily, to a people that has to be more independent. This is their first step to recognizing the concreteness of dedication and love without a clear physical reminder.
Many relate this circumcision of the heart to mean that they are being told to uncover their heart and be more open. This is reinforced by what follows when it says that they should not be stiff-necked anymore.

Imagine.. You are sitting among the Israelites. Hearing the rushing of the Jordan river and seeing in the distance the land you and your people will soon live in. Your mind is probably rushing and screaming at you to just run in and get there already! That is the exact reason why I think we are focusing so much on the heart. We need to listen to our hearts, be open to the less obvious, trust in that feeling of love and dedication. Sometimes we spend too much time in life trying to think of the smartest most logical way. I think we turn that channel on and turn off our heart too much.
We have to believe that what we can't see can be felt in our hearts and it is our part of the deal to tune into that.

Maybe we need to stop by the side of the Jordan every once in awhile and not rush into the next exciting thing in our life before rededicated ourselves to faith and love.

Shabbat Shalom

Parashat Va'etchanan- Seeing into our Hearts.

Another beautiful day in Park Slope, Brooklyn. Sun is shinning and millions of cafes are filled with well dressed young professionals. I met for coffee with a new friend and learned more about the Jewish scene and cute "must go" places. After a lovely morning I went to do my shopping to prepare for my first Shabbat dinner with my new roommates. I was in PathMark feeling lost and confused. I passed the same packaged and frozen foods multiple times before leaving with a suffocated feeling. I wandered into Target and found a wine opener.
I had to sit and regroup.
I was looking for the warm challah and the fresh chicken. The piles of fresh vegetables and strong spices. I wanted to be yelled at and pushed. I wanted to bump into friends in a rush. I wanted that feeling of being overwhelmed by the preparing for Shabbat atmosphere.
I wanted to rush to catch a bus as my bags broke my back because I was cooking for 14 people. But instead I sat next to Target and took a breath. My heart and my eyes were seeing two different things. Just like I wrote yesterday.
I thought of this weeks parsha. Moses is being told that after learning and loving the land of Israel and working so hard for the people that would fill it.. he could not enter. He could not be there with everything he knew. He had to prepare Yehoshua to take his place and lead the people into the Land.

He had to sit, breath and just look out towards "that great hill" (Jerusalem).

The people get warned before going into the land of Israel. They have had their time to slack off in the desert and test G-d's patience. They get one of their final lectures this week. Like teens going of without their parents for the first time.
-------
4:9

9. But beware and watch yourself very well, lest you forget the things that your eyes saw, and lest these things depart from your heart, all the days of your life, and you shall make them known to your children and to your children's children, ------

ט. רַק הִשָּׁמֶר לְךָ וּשְׁמֹר נַפְשְׁךָ מְאֹד פֶּן תִּשְׁכַּח אֶת הַדְּבָרִים אֲשֶׁר רָאוּ עֵינֶיךָ וּפֶן יָסוּרוּ מִלְּבָבְךָ כֹּל יְמֵי חַיֶּיךָ וְהוֹדַעְתָּם לְבָנֶיךָ וְלִבְנֵי בָנֶיךָ

They are told not to forget what their eyes have seen. What strikes me about this is they are told not only to not forget what they have seen, but most importantly not to let these things leave, depart, turn from, their hearts. 

It is amazing how our eyes are the windows into our hearts.

We can just "see" something and pass it. We constantly see. But what do you see that really sticks in your heart? What pulls at your heart strings when you don't see it? As Moshe sits and looks and sees the land of Israel I can't imagine how his heart feels. There is such emphasis on him seeing it. Because just seeing is in a way being and owning in ones heart. 
As I sat by Target I saw buses and people and buildings but none of it was in my heart. I have not fallen in love with it yet. I can close my eyes and see the Shabbat prep of my old life in Jerusalem and I will never let that leave my heart. I will do as the pasuk says and pass that beauty on for generations. I realized though that my first weeks in Jerusalem were not a "fairy tale love affair". I saw crowds and heat and I was confused and lost. I remember now that it took me opening my heart to my new life to love it. I had to see the good around me. 
I think this is what G-d wants the Israelites to do. G-d doesn't want them to just remember the good times. He wants the struggle and pain they saw along the journey to stick with them. He also wants the love and times with family and times of pride and belief to stick with them. The good and the bad things they have seen that have really touched and changed them. 

With a sigh I picked myself up and went to Trader Joes. A place I knew would have Kosher products and be familiar. I began to remember some good days living with a wonderful host family right next to the store. Shopping there and making lunches. Bringing a kosher chicken to my Grandmothers. I began to let my eyes open into my heart. 
I left with a bag full and ready for Shabbat. Blessed that I can afford to buy nice things and set a beautiful table with great people. Blessed that no matter where I am I can remember where I have been but still open myself to new loves. 

Rashi adds to the pasuk above (4:9) that if you distort what you have seen in your memory because you are forgetful then you will be considered a fool. I agree with Rashi. I was being a fool. Not remembering that all starts are tough because I distorted my memory to think only of the good. We have to remember things as we actually saw them. We can't become fools who forget those important moments that brought us to the present reality. We have to remember, long for, learn from, move on from and open to seeing new. 

This Shabbat I think we should all think about what it is we see that we hold in our hearts. What will we never forget? What is important enough to us to never let go of and always pass on to others? 

May we all have a Shabbat filled with good people and only goodness to fill our eyes and hearts. 

I live in Brooklyn?!

Emotions are high as I walk the streets of Brooklyn and even venture into the big city. I just keep walking. Trying to get my mind to catch up with my physical being.
 I am no longer wandering the streets of Jerusalem.
These are not the same people, not the same corner stores, not the same language.
         Am I the same?
I have come back to American, back to where I grew up, but I feel foreign. I felt foreign in Israel too. I always knew I had an expiration date on my life there. But now I am setting up life for an indefinite amount of time. It feels so grown up. Scary but exciting at the same time. I can't stop counting my blessings as I make this big move. Over the last few years I have learned so much about myself and who I want to be in this world. I have begun to dive into the world of Torah study and spirituality. I have become a leader and someone of influence. I have found people who inspire me in their daily actions and words. I have been exposed to some of the most magical teachers and talented colleagues. I sit now in a bar on the corner near my house, stealing wifi. I am beginning to delve into my curriculum and plan for the coming year of teaching at Hannah Senesh Community Day school.
I plan to have a classroom that feels like a home. A home where students walk into and are excited to continue their projects and learn new material. I want it to feel like a place that they feel pushed to be their best versions of themselves. Where I am seen as a role model for living and loving the Torah I teach. I know the first year of teaching is the toughest. I am nervous. But I also am in shock that I am about to become such an important part of so many students lives. I am honored that I an qualified to be in such a position and to be exposed daily to young excited minds.
I will be blogging my teaching experience and tracking things that work and don't work. I will also be keeping track of my life progressing in Brookyln. I have always wanted to write a diary and keep track of my crazy life. I think now is the time!